lakemutt
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Hello?
2 min read
Hi guys! Long time no... anything........
It has been a long, long time since I even looked at this account. I expected to cringe and feel a rush of hatred for my young, dumb self but I haven't yet in the slightest. I can't believe that my stuff here is actually pretty good???? I thought I was terrible....
Yesterday I was messing around with one of my friends and for shit and grins I drew a little coyote and I was doing it to mock old me but I was actually genuinely very happy while I drew- and here I am now.
I think I'm having an emotional regression of sorts omg.
It's been a very tough 2 years of my life and I have changed more than I could express. Art school is, by all accounts, nuts. I'm a painting major now but I am considering switching into illustration. I have been in a serious creative funk a majority of the time, making very VERY little art that is personal to me outside of assignments. Or for friends. Or fun. Or emotional fulfillment.
It's been incredibly worrying for me.
Looking through my old stuff now I'm sad that I started to hate my personal work so much and stopped doing it just because I felt it wasn't "serious" enough because now I'm sick of serious art and I'm wondering why I would ever stop drawing.
I'm feeling weird and nostalgic. I miss the network of friends I had. I miss drawing purely for stupid overrated fun and not worrying about all 342535235 things that are now in my head when I make a painting.
I almost want to start posting again... and while I want to keep the watchers and community I had here I also feel the need to start fresh.
We'll see where this goes I guess, please post if we are friends! I want to know who is still on here
It has been a long, long time since I even looked at this account. I expected to cringe and feel a rush of hatred for my young, dumb self but I haven't yet in the slightest. I can't believe that my stuff here is actually pretty good???? I thought I was terrible....
Yesterday I was messing around with one of my friends and for shit and grins I drew a little coyote and I was doing it to mock old me but I was actually genuinely very happy while I drew- and here I am now.
I think I'm having an emotional regression of sorts omg.
It's been a very tough 2 years of my life and I have changed more than I could express. Art school is, by all accounts, nuts. I'm a painting major now but I am considering switching into illustration. I have been in a serious creative funk a majority of the time, making very VERY little art that is personal to me outside of assignments. Or for friends. Or fun. Or emotional fulfillment.
It's been incredibly worrying for me.
Looking through my old stuff now I'm sad that I started to hate my personal work so much and stopped doing it just because I felt it wasn't "serious" enough because now I'm sick of serious art and I'm wondering why I would ever stop drawing.
I'm feeling weird and nostalgic. I miss the network of friends I had. I miss drawing purely for stupid overrated fun and not worrying about all 342535235 things that are now in my head when I make a painting.
I almost want to start posting again... and while I want to keep the watchers and community I had here I also feel the need to start fresh.
We'll see where this goes I guess, please post if we are friends! I want to know who is still on here
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*BACKFLIPS BACK TO DEVIANTART*
3 min read
Alright. I cannot guarantee I'm back but if I am going to come back, I'm going to state a few things:
-I'm going to delete 99% of my messages. It kills me not to respond to the literally thousands of comments but I will never come back if I keep them around and pretend I'm going to get it done some day.
I am VERY sorry about this and if there was anything I never responded to that was important please let me know.
I am absolutely, inexpressibly grateful for all the love and support I have gotten over the years. I am not exaggerating when I say it means the world to me. Art saved my life. My art career began to blossom 6 years ago when I was a stupid 7th grader posting crappy drawings. You guys took the time to encourage me, when I have very often fallen to doubt and self hate.
Thank you so, so, SO much 
-Commissions are not open. Point commissions will never re-open. I have IRL people now giving me IRL money, and I don't have the time anymore. And I am always in desperate need of money. Sorry guys. I am going to open an Etsy though.
-If I never finished a commission that you paid for- points or whatever else- TELL ME I'll finish it if at all possible
-I logged in for the first time and months and my inbox is full of people telling me my art is stolen. It made me sad, but it also made me very happy that so many people have got my back and care enough to tell me. Thank you so much guys!!!
-I am so,so,so,soooooo much older, mentally and physically, then when I began this account. I am no longer obsessed with animals. I still love them and do occasionally draw them but things will never be the same again. I am going to be a professional artist very soon. I've been accepted to some really big art schools. Most of my art is from my work in the International Baccalaureate program now so... serious stuff. I'm sorry. The constant cartoon animals will not be so constant anymore.
Thank you so much if you've read this or even care about me anymore.
You are all very lovely and I feel incredibly happy to be back.
I have high hopes that I will stay this time
~LM
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I'm going to Howarts
2 min read
......not really but kind of XD
ANYWAYS HI GUYS yes I'm a person that exists though I figure I'm mostly forgotten by now :/ I still have birthday messages from March that are unanswered and man do I feel horrible. I have been avoiding dA partly because I left a mound of unfinished things to do that continued to accumulate as I was gone. So now it would take me like 5 years to get to all the messages and comments, and so I am really, truly sorry about that. I feel bad. Anyways.
I just got back from being on the road. I went to RiverEcho's city!
And Disneyland. I just. omgggggg. That was such an amazing day. Wearing a Doctor Who shirt there was the best decision I've ever made, I made insta-friendships with at least 20 people, got high fives from the park employees, and screamed ALLONS-Y with a very short man from Spain while on the Matterhorn. The rest of the trip had ups and downs but overall was pretty good...
To-morrow I head off to an academy that I am only referring to as Hogwarts. Figured I'd ought to post about it here given it's a fine arts academy! I won a scholarship to it through school. Not that I've been on much, but I won't be at all while I'm there. And when I come back in like a month I will have lots of stuff and art to post. That's why I wanted to tell y'all. I'll try to get re-active. I'll try.
In other art-news, I survived a year of IB art! WOO! Then in the fall I get another year... yay XD
That's all folks!
ANYWAYS HI GUYS yes I'm a person that exists though I figure I'm mostly forgotten by now :/ I still have birthday messages from March that are unanswered and man do I feel horrible. I have been avoiding dA partly because I left a mound of unfinished things to do that continued to accumulate as I was gone. So now it would take me like 5 years to get to all the messages and comments, and so I am really, truly sorry about that. I feel bad. Anyways.
I just got back from being on the road. I went to RiverEcho's city!
And Disneyland. I just. omgggggg. That was such an amazing day. Wearing a Doctor Who shirt there was the best decision I've ever made, I made insta-friendships with at least 20 people, got high fives from the park employees, and screamed ALLONS-Y with a very short man from Spain while on the Matterhorn. The rest of the trip had ups and downs but overall was pretty good...To-morrow I head off to an academy that I am only referring to as Hogwarts. Figured I'd ought to post about it here given it's a fine arts academy! I won a scholarship to it through school. Not that I've been on much, but I won't be at all while I'm there. And when I come back in like a month I will have lots of stuff and art to post. That's why I wanted to tell y'all. I'll try to get re-active. I'll try.
In other art-news, I survived a year of IB art! WOO! Then in the fall I get another year... yay XD
That's all folks!
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(Wow I forgot to click post last night xD Time travel!)
I wanna beeeeee sedaaatttteeeeedddddd
It's late I'm bored The Ramones are boss and I needed to get that stupid whiny journal off my page.
Got random quiz from Journal-Quizzes and if yOU'RE READING THIS RIGHT NOW YOU MUST DO IT AHAHAHAHA
1.) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
V-shaped nick in the face of the floe, the slope of the cutwater
2.) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you reach?
My lamp, alarm clock, phone, a geode rock, a Monet Water Lillies postcard, a Space Center Houston bumper sticker, a Ricola
3.) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Supernatural, Season 3 Episode 15 "Time is On My Side"
4.) Without looking guess what time it is?
2:15 AM
5.) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:20 AM
6.) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Furnace, my snoring dog JJ, my keyboard tapping, the wind outside, a train in the distance rattling on the tracks
7.) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This afternoon (it's been cold and blah all day)... I yelled to my dad that my Grandma called xD
.
8.) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Tumblr tumblr tumblr
9.) What are you wearing?
Jeans...a Beatles shirt... a navy blue hoodie... gray socks...
10.) Did you dream last night?
Yeah, it was freaking weird
11.) When did you last laugh?
I don't know maybe when my brother chased me with a toy helicopter today, or something funny on Tumblr
12.) What are one the walls you are in?
eh? Well I'm in my room. Within walls. If this is what this means.
13.) Seen anything weird lately?
Did you mean: EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. Hey look a panda without the black marks around it's eyes where is your god now media.tumblr.com/57db47bb96566…
14.) What do you think of this quiz?
I'ts 2 AM I don't know
15.) What was the last film you saw?
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. I got it on DVD for Christmas
16.) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
So much art supplies, fandom and band crap, oh, a nice place in England, a black '67 Chevy Impala, violin lessons, I don't know where to start
17.) Tell me something about you that I don't know?
I like snakes. Snakes are cool.
18.) If you could change one thing about the world?
No war
20.) George Bush:
You skipped a question And this is not a question? hahahahaha
.
21.) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
*STEALS NAMES FROM MY CHARACTERS* I like the names: Robin, Max, Blair, Asa, Astrid, boy names as girl names.... can't think of anything else right now kthxbye
22.) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Robin I love that one. I quite like Oliver (Ollie) and Adam but not really unique. Same for Alexander. Elliot? Francis? Too preppy. Dacy (day-see. It's Irish). Rory (can't cause of DW though). Dean (lol but I could never thanks to SPN). Maybe Asa, that's an old name, and a cool one. If I wanted to be evil, Sherlock. CAN'T THINK RIGHT NOW
23.) Would you ever consider living abroad?
SEE: ENGLAND ENGLAND ENGLAND ENGLAND AKA MY REAL HOME
24.) What do you want God to say when you reach the pearly gates?
"Hey you, yeah you, get in here, hey you want wings ok BAM cool now fly wherever you want kk be good"
I wanna beeeeee sedaaatttteeeeedddddd
It's late I'm bored The Ramones are boss and I needed to get that stupid whiny journal off my page.
Got random quiz from Journal-Quizzes and if yOU'RE READING THIS RIGHT NOW YOU MUST DO IT AHAHAHAHA
1.) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
V-shaped nick in the face of the floe, the slope of the cutwater
2.) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you reach?
My lamp, alarm clock, phone, a geode rock, a Monet Water Lillies postcard, a Space Center Houston bumper sticker, a Ricola
3.) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Supernatural, Season 3 Episode 15 "Time is On My Side"
4.) Without looking guess what time it is?
2:15 AM
5.) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:20 AM
6.) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Furnace, my snoring dog JJ, my keyboard tapping, the wind outside, a train in the distance rattling on the tracks
7.) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This afternoon (it's been cold and blah all day)... I yelled to my dad that my Grandma called xD
.
8.) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Tumblr tumblr tumblr
9.) What are you wearing?
Jeans...a Beatles shirt... a navy blue hoodie... gray socks...
10.) Did you dream last night?
Yeah, it was freaking weird
11.) When did you last laugh?
I don't know maybe when my brother chased me with a toy helicopter today, or something funny on Tumblr
12.) What are one the walls you are in?
eh? Well I'm in my room. Within walls. If this is what this means.
13.) Seen anything weird lately?
Did you mean: EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. Hey look a panda without the black marks around it's eyes where is your god now media.tumblr.com/57db47bb96566…
14.) What do you think of this quiz?
I'ts 2 AM I don't know
15.) What was the last film you saw?
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. I got it on DVD for Christmas
16.) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
So much art supplies, fandom and band crap, oh, a nice place in England, a black '67 Chevy Impala, violin lessons, I don't know where to start
17.) Tell me something about you that I don't know?
I like snakes. Snakes are cool.
18.) If you could change one thing about the world?
No war
20.) George Bush:
You skipped a question And this is not a question? hahahahaha
.
21.) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
*STEALS NAMES FROM MY CHARACTERS* I like the names: Robin, Max, Blair, Asa, Astrid, boy names as girl names.... can't think of anything else right now kthxbye
22.) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Robin I love that one. I quite like Oliver (Ollie) and Adam but not really unique. Same for Alexander. Elliot? Francis? Too preppy. Dacy (day-see. It's Irish). Rory (can't cause of DW though). Dean (lol but I could never thanks to SPN). Maybe Asa, that's an old name, and a cool one. If I wanted to be evil, Sherlock. CAN'T THINK RIGHT NOW
23.) Would you ever consider living abroad?
SEE: ENGLAND ENGLAND ENGLAND ENGLAND AKA MY REAL HOME
24.) What do you want God to say when you reach the pearly gates?
"Hey you, yeah you, get in here, hey you want wings ok BAM cool now fly wherever you want kk be good"
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I'm...Back? Or leaving maybe?
3 min read
Hello, deviantART!
Long time no see, eh?
Well, first and foremost, I must apologize to people who commissioned me long ago, or those who were in process of doing so, when I jumped off the side of the earth and went dead on dA for... I don't know how long.
I promise all the people who have paid me/whom I have accepted commissions for, WILL get their art, and extra art for waiting, and perhaps some of their points back if I feel terrible enough.
And now...
Should I stay, or should I go?
My muse has been dead since about the beginning of summer. I don't know why exactly. This year has been unspectacular for me art-wise. I still love it but I'm not growing and learning so quickly as I used to.
Shortly put, I'm bored.
Art is a huge part of my life and I don't see that ever going away. I used to see dA as an outlet. I could show people my work, who would be honest and help me, criticize me, and be very open. The dA community helped me grow from a person who never showed art to ANYONE to someone who is at least (partially) okay with... ummm... well, attention. And you guys have influenced me and supported me, which I am very gratefully for.
But suddenly I started getting a lot of watchers (by my standards, not you famous people) and I felt as if I were just putting out art to say "Hey, look at me, look how great I am" even though I know that wasn't the case. Frequent art theft also left a bad taste in my mouth. I won't deny that being dA-famous is something I've always wanted. But soon as I started getting attention, when suddenly I realised I knew very few of my watchers personally, I began to feel kind of lost. dA wasn't fun anymore. It legit stressed me out. I felt like I was showing my art to a huge crowd of people, and suddenly nothing seemed good enough.
So I let it go. I used spend so much time updating my dA and when I stopped that... I realized I hardly missed it.
Then I come back all this time later. It makes me feels really whiny and attention-seeking when I say this, but I feel like not a single person actually missed me at all. Nobody seemed to even notice.
So should I even bother staying? I miss when it was fun. I miss the great art community here. But my art is shit and I am wasting my time, honestly... even after years on dA, I seem pretty forgettable.
Well.
Ahem.
/endjournal
Long time no see, eh?
Well, first and foremost, I must apologize to people who commissioned me long ago, or those who were in process of doing so, when I jumped off the side of the earth and went dead on dA for... I don't know how long.
I promise all the people who have paid me/whom I have accepted commissions for, WILL get their art, and extra art for waiting, and perhaps some of their points back if I feel terrible enough.
And now...
Should I stay, or should I go?
My muse has been dead since about the beginning of summer. I don't know why exactly. This year has been unspectacular for me art-wise. I still love it but I'm not growing and learning so quickly as I used to.
Shortly put, I'm bored.
Art is a huge part of my life and I don't see that ever going away. I used to see dA as an outlet. I could show people my work, who would be honest and help me, criticize me, and be very open. The dA community helped me grow from a person who never showed art to ANYONE to someone who is at least (partially) okay with... ummm... well, attention. And you guys have influenced me and supported me, which I am very gratefully for.
But suddenly I started getting a lot of watchers (by my standards, not you famous people) and I felt as if I were just putting out art to say "Hey, look at me, look how great I am" even though I know that wasn't the case. Frequent art theft also left a bad taste in my mouth. I won't deny that being dA-famous is something I've always wanted. But soon as I started getting attention, when suddenly I realised I knew very few of my watchers personally, I began to feel kind of lost. dA wasn't fun anymore. It legit stressed me out. I felt like I was showing my art to a huge crowd of people, and suddenly nothing seemed good enough.
So I let it go. I used spend so much time updating my dA and when I stopped that... I realized I hardly missed it.
Then I come back all this time later. It makes me feels really whiny and attention-seeking when I say this, but I feel like not a single person actually missed me at all. Nobody seemed to even notice.
So should I even bother staying? I miss when it was fun. I miss the great art community here. But my art is shit and I am wasting my time, honestly... even after years on dA, I seem pretty forgettable.
Well.
Ahem.
/endjournal
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