Hi guys! Long time no... anything........
It has been a long, long time since I even looked at this account. I expected to cringe and feel a rush of hatred for my young, dumb self but I haven't yet in the slightest. I can't believe that my stuff here is actually pretty good???? I thought I was terrible....
Yesterday I was messing around with one of my friends and for shit and grins I drew a little coyote and I was doing it to mock old me but I was actually genuinely very happy while I drew- and here I am now.
I think I'm having an emotional regression of sorts omg.
It's been a very tough 2 years of my life and I have changed more than I could express. Art school is, by all accounts, nuts. I'm a painting major now but I am considering switching into illustration. I have been in a serious creative funk a majority of the time, making very VERY little art that is personal to me outside of assignments. Or for friends. Or fun. Or emotional fulfillment.
It's been incredibly worrying for me.
Looking through my old stuff now I'm sad that I started to hate my personal work so much and stopped doing it just because I felt it wasn't "serious" enough because now I'm sick of serious art and I'm wondering why I would ever stop drawing.
I'm feeling weird and nostalgic. I miss the network of friends I had. I miss drawing purely for stupid overrated fun and not worrying about all 342535235 things that are now in my head when I make a painting.
I almost want to start posting again... and while I want to keep the watchers and community I had here I also feel the need to start fresh.
We'll see where this goes I guess, please post if we are friends! I want to know who is still on here
Listening to: Wolf Alice
Reading: Civilization and Its Discontents
Playing: My part in the capitalist machine
Eating: Being poor and hungry